The Chinese proverb states, “Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” This saying can be aptly applied to teaching our youth good problem-solving skills. You may find that it will initially take an investment of time to teach these principles of problem solving to your children, but expect to reap long-term dividends as your children learn to solve problems and make wise choices for themselves. Parents are often amazed to discover how capable and resourceful their children are when given the chance to solve their problems in their own way. All children will inevitably encounter problems of all shapes and kinds in their lives; that’s simply part of growing up. Through dealing with these challenges, they learn problem-solving skills, which are essential to success in life. Kids have unbelievable and largely untapped potential for finding good solutions to their problems. It’s wise to invest time in helping your child develop his or her problem-solving skills. Teaching children how to solve problems is an essential skill that is worth their learning while young, as it will greatly aid them in the future. However, one tendency of parents is to too quickly rectify the problem or too easily provide the answer to the problem. If you try to solve all your child’s problems, you will stunt your child’s ability to solve problems on his own. Don’t take over the fixing of the problem unless you have to. Instead, help the child find the solution. This shows that you have faith in your child’s ability to learn to handle the problem constructively. At first you will have to walk your child through each step of the problem-solving process, and it may take much more time to complete the process than if you had just solved the problem for him or told him the answer. But when you solve your child’s problem, you’re taking away a valuable opportunity for him to learn. The learning process, however slow, is part of a child’s development and growth. Little Sara borrows her friend’s doll, but while playing with it, she rips the doll’s dress. “Mommy, I ripped the doll’s dress!” Sara whimpers. “Don’t worry, Sara, I’ll sew it tonight and you can give it back to Melissa later.” Mom has fixed the problem and Sara is happy. But what did Sara learn from this encounter? “If I have a problem, ask Mommy. She’ll solve it.” So the next time something happens, she will promptly come to Mommy for solving the problem again. In the case of the ripped dress, here’s how it could turn into a problem-solving learning scenario: “Mommy, I ripped Melissa’s doll’s dress!” “Oh my. Yes, that is quite a tear. Hmm, what do you think we should do about it?” “Um, I don’t know. Tell Melissa I’m sorry?” “Well, that would be good to do. But how do you think she’ll feel getting her doll back with a torn dress?” “She might be sad.” “Could we do something to help that?” “Maybe we could fix it? Could we sew the dress?” “Excellent solution! How about tonight you and I work on sewing the doll’s dress?” “Okay!” Mommy has taught Sara how to find a solution to her problem. By helping sew the dress with her mom, Sara is also now a part of the solution. Next time Sara encounters a problem, she may still go to Mommy for help, but she’ll be aware that there will be a way to figure out a solution to the problem, and she’ll realize that she can and should play a part in the solution. As Sara practices this problem-solving method day by day, she will learn to figure out solutions on her own, and will have honed a valuable lifelong skill. Not all problems in life are easily solved, and you will have to help your children understand that, as they encounter bigger challenges. But the daily steps you take to encourage their problem-solving skills will provide them with greater personal resources to cope with the more challenging problems of life as they grow older. Teach your children to take responsibility in finding solutions to their problems, and in so doing, you will be teaching them a valuable skill that will benefit them throughout life. © TFI. Used with permission.
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Bearing babies and raising children is the greatest experience in this natural life. Children are eternal gifts--not just for a time, but for eternity. Of course children are not only a gift of God, but also the work of God. That's a full-time job, but with that big job come big rewards and lots of benefits. You should be very proud to be a parent, because yours is the greatest work in the world--molding the future. The world of tomorrow is what the parents of today make it, according to the way they raise their children. Never minimize the training of your children. Did you ever realize that the most important things children are going to learn in their lifetimes, they learn before they're five years old? So just think how important it is that you teach and train them right during those first formative years. That's why the Bible says, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6). You can't wait till your child is five years old before you begin teaching him or her. Every single day counts, and what that child learns each day is important. You as a parent are responsible to see to it that your child is not only fed, clothed, protected, and kept healthy, but also that your child is taught God's Word, trained in His truth, and inspired with His love. Some parents have the wrong attitude that if their kids learn, they learn, and if they don't, they don't. While children shouldn't be forced to learn something they don't want to learn, the truth of the matter is that all children want to learn. They're happier and feel more fulfilled when they are learning, and they can learn a lot more with a parent's guidance and encouragement than if they are just left to learn on their own. My mother and father placed great importance on teaching me about the Bible, the Lord, spiritual values, and biblical truths. Bible stories and the Bible itself were a tremendous influence in my life. I loved them and believed them because I knew they were the voice of God and the Book of God. As a result, my knowledge of God's Word and its truths were what guided my decisions and kept me through many difficult situations as I grew older. It's simple to teach your young children about Jesus. Just do it from your heart! Point them to the Lord by your example and your love, and by talking to them about Jesus. As soon as they're old enough to understand what a mother or a father is--someone who loves them and takes care of them, who helped create them and gave birth to them--they're old enough to receive Jesus as their Savior. Just explain that there is a great unseen Father who is everywhere and loves us all very much, but because we've all been bad and deserve to be punished, He sent Jesus to take our punishment for us. Then have them repeat a simple prayer like the following: Dear Jesus, please forgive me for being bad. Please come into my heart and help me to be good. That's all they have to do! Jesus said, "Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God" (Mark 10:14). He's just waiting to become their Best Friend and Savior! May God help us to be good stewards of the most precious gifts He's given us--our children! Written by D.B. Berg and excerpted from Activated magazine. Used with permission. |
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